Valentine’s Day, the day of LOVE. The holiday that celebrates the very thing that makes the world go round. I absolutely love this day – I am sucker for love and romance. I believe in it, I crave it. However, I also believe that love should be celebrated every single day of our lives. Not just with a significant other, but with everyone around you. Love is a beautiful thing, it’s something God made and he created us to want and need it.
This day is amazing, and I love V-day… but it can be a really sad day for so many who don’t have a significant other. Constantly having it shoved in your face that you’re not getting a Valentine, or flowers, or chocolate on this day can be really depressing for some. Especially when you see everyone around you receiving flowers or special gifts and going on romantic dates. I thought today would be the perfect day to share something that is on my heart always.
We all dream of feeling loved and appreciated. Most of us crave being in a relationship because God created us to want a partner in life. It’s completely normal and a very good thing. However, I too often see people in the wrong relationship out of desperation. So many are so afraid to be alone, that they will settle with whatever they can find, just to not feel lonely or unwanted. This ends up causing so many problems and sometimes can create consequences that are irreparable, life altering and sometimes devastating. Settling with the wrong person can cause heartbreaks that will last a lifetime. I’ve seen so many marriages fall apart because of couples getting married too quickly before taking the time to realize they weren’t right for each other in the first place. I’ve seen people have children with a person they didn’t really love… ultimately causing pain and unnecessary grief to a child. Desperation and impatience are two things that can cause unbearable pain and I am here to say it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s okay to be single. It’s okay to wait, search your heart, and be happy on your own.
I don’t usually speak a lot about my personal life, but I am going to take this opportunity to share a little bit. I am currently single. 100% single. I get asked all of the time why I am not in a relationship, and the answer is very simple. I am waiting for the right one. Simple as that. There have been some amazing men come into my life that I could have chosen to enter a serious relationship with, the kind that would definitely lead to marriage. But in my heart, I knew they weren’t the right one. And I learned a long time ago to follow my heart. It has gotten me where I am today in life and has never let me down. I also learned a very long time ago to be happy on my own, without a partner. It was tricky to figure out at first, but when I finally got it, it was a like I had entered a whole new world. I have never looked back. When I finally realized I didn’t need someone to make me happy, it was like my eyes were seeing for the first time. I have never been happier. Placing my happiness in God and in myself has changed my life, and I have never been more satisfied. I know that when I do find the man for me, he will only add to my current happiness. I honestly love being single. Yes, I definitely look forward to the day I can be in a relationship with the man God has created for me. But for now, I am 100% content being on my own. I don’t dwell on the fact that I am alone… I don’t spend my days wishing I would find a guy. I spend every waking moment bettering my life, bettering my business, bettering myself. Instead of fretting over being alone, I spend my time preparing myself for the day God decides it’s time that that special man come into the picture. I want to be the very best woman I can be for my future husband. I want to be ready for him and I refuse to settle for anything less. I know in my heart, that God has a plan for me. I trust him and know that when it’s meant to happen, it will. There is absolutely no reason on earth that I should waste a single minute of my life wishing, waiting, being depressed, sad, mad, angry, or bitter. I am so blessed. I have SO much to be thankful for. I have honestly told God and myself a very long time ago, that even if I never find “him”, I will never be with someone who isn’t right, just to be with someone. I would rather be single the rest of my life than enter a relationship with the wrong person. Life is way too short for that. I only get one life and I want it to be the very best life I can make it. And I mean that with every bit of who I am. God has big plans for me and I refuse to screw it up by being impatient.
I am telling you my story because I want you to understand that you can be happy alone. You don’t need a relationship to fulfill you. Ultimately only God can do that for you. He has proven this to me time and time again. He is the only one who has never let me down. His love fills my heart like none other. And he wants to do the same for you. Whether you are single or in a relationship, reach out to him for happiness. I promise if you just ask, he will fill your heart with his unfathomable love and peace.
Be patient, be happy, trust God. He has a plan for you too. : )
Many XOs. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Courtney










by courtney
Jessica - Ahhhh…. Courtney…So refreshing! You have put into words exactly how I feel and could not put into words myself. I am 27. Happy and single. I have an awesome career, family and friends and I am perfectly content. And yet, I get constantly asked from others why I do not have a man or that I am not married yet or that you are beautiful and men are constantly chasing you…..but the answer is…they are not the RIGHT one. I fully believe in waiting for the right person and not just “dating” someone to have a man. It gets frustrating when I tell people this and they think I am stuck up and being picky. Truth is though, I am being picky. I won’t settle.
It would be perfect if I could just send those people this link!
I look at your blog all the time and you are truly amazing at your craft and words. So inspiring! Keep up the awesome work!
Kelly Ann - Oh my goodness, Courtney. Finding out that you’re a sister in Christ makes me love your work THAT MUCH MORE. I can’t explain it, it just does. And kudos for speaking truth in love ABOUT love. God’s timing is utterly perfect. It’s only disastrous when we attempt to force His hand into moving in our lives. I faced way too many heartbreaks and almosts before I found the man that is now my husband. When I think about if I had married any of the other almosts [as wonderful as a few of them were] it makes me shudder. I never believed in soul mates until I met my husband. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true. The safest and most beautiful place to be is right in the center of God’s will.
Steffani B. - I totally agree! Towards the end of a past relationship that was very unhealthy, I became pregnant and instantly knew that my child would be my motivation to never settle. So my senior year of college I happily chose the hard life of a single mommy and to raise my son alone. But every night Kingston and I enter a happy home where I can provide peace, stability, a lifetime of love for him. And perhaps, someday a model relationship he can look up to! xoxo
Maria - Hi!
Just wanted to say, your work is gorgeous and inspiring! I am a wedding photographer- and it is my first love and passion. I do some boudoir on the side and it is A LOT of fun for me! I LOVE your article and enjoy reading your blog- you certainly have a way with words too! I kind of needed to be reminded of what you said, and I think it’s funny how I stumbled upon your post tonight! I totally agree with how you feel as I do too, though I probably would not be able to express it as well as you!
Thank you for sharing ..
Happy Valentine’s Day! <3
Bethany Rose - What a beautiful post, Courtney! Love and admire you always.
Angie - Courtney,
You truly are an amazing and beautiful woman with so much passion for what you do. You did my boudoir for me in December 2010. It was a wedding gift for my then husband. Our marriage did not last but the empowerment you gave me in that session has given me the strength to weather a hard time in my life.
I have raved about your talent to so many. In fact, you photographed my dear friend Berry Monday. Once again, your talents go far beyond the beautiful pictures you take. I only wish I would have known that during my session!!
As far as finding love, well I have come to realize that you must love yourself before you are capable of loving someone else… <3
Thank you again for all you do,
Angie
Emma - Lovely column. I needed to read this to feel better. I know I’m married to a genuine narcissist and most of the time I can cope, except on traditional gift giving days. Today’s gift was once again something he would like.
Andrea - Courtney, You truly do have a gift for writing too. Thank you so much for this post as I believe it with all my heart and have shared it with more people than I can count. I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s day!!
Elizabeth Diane - I love the faith that you have in our Lord. Reminds me a lot of how Diana Elizabeth (Arizona photographer) waited and God blessed her so deeply with her new husband. Those are the best love stories ever <3
Kina Wicks - COURTNEY! This subject was on my heart this morning too!!! I wish every girl not in a relationship could reach this state of mind. You are a beautiful example of it! I also KNOW that your “perfect” match will come into your life when the time is right because you refuse to settle! I remember my years of being a fulfilled single girl after having a similar epiphany and when I met my husband all the years of waiting were definitely worth it. My life was pretty awesome then, and now, it’s just that much better. You are amazing, insightful, and strong! <3